


The Boyfriend Tag

by slashsailing



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boyfriend Tag, Fluff, M/M, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 15:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/927888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashsailing/pseuds/slashsailing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim apparently has a youtube channel and is making Bones do the boyfriend tag with him. </p><p>Based on this tumblr head-canon: http://captain-sulu.tumblr.com/post/58352397182/jim-and-bones-doing-a-boyfriend-tag-and-bones</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boyfriend Tag

“Okay, so hello everybody.” Jim starts, smiling into the camera and running his hand through his hair. “I’ve just made it to a million subscribers and to say thank you I’m finally giving you what you’ve all been begging for for literally _years_ now. And no it’s not my naked body because you guys deserve better than that.” Jim grins and flashes his toothy smile in Bones’ direction. “I am finally presenting you with Bones, also known as my boyfriend. Woo! Go me.”

“Oh Christ.” Bones mutters.

“Shhh. Don’t interrupt.” Jim says. “Now that he’s finally consented to being in one of my videos we’re going to give the revered _boyfriend tag_ a shot and see who comes out on top. _Spoiler alert_ it will be me because I am awesome.”

“You’re unbelievable is what you are.” Bones huffs.

“Baby, _smile_ , you don’t want the camera to pick up frown lines.” Jim coos, trying to conceal his amusement.

“I’m going to murder you slowly.” Bones promises.

“You definitely won’t win by killing me.” Jim says and pulls his iPhone up, opening the notes App and reading off the first question. “Question one, when did we meet, slash where?” Jim asks, then he pauses. “How can I win if you answer all the questions?” Then he pouts.

“Just think of it as a ten minute long video about me talking adoringly about you, still a win-win by your standards, isn’t it?” Bones says dryly with a shrug.

“Good point, well presented.” Jim nods with a smirk.

“We met about three years ago, in a bar off campus just before your freshmen orientation. It was the week when all the students move onto campus before class starts and you were trying to get served booze in the worst dive in San Francisco because you’re a deviant.” Bones answers. “Question two?”

“When did you meet my parents?” Jim asks. " _Parent._ " He amends.

“I met your mom when I drove you back to Iowa over the winter break that first year.” Bones answers dutifully.

“What’s one thing you wish I didn’t do?” Jim asks.

“Fan girl over Karl Urban. It’s slutty and I hate you.” Bones huffs.

“But Bones, did you _see_ Dredd? He is a man that deserves to be fangirled over.” Jim insists. “But really, there must be an actual thing I do that pisses you off.”

“There are _many_.” Bones huffs.

“You’re a mean mean grumpy med student and you wound me with your sharp words.” Jim pouts.

“Better words than a scalpel.” Bones smile sweetly and then sighs. “Do I want to know the next question?”

“Where was our first date?” Jim asks.

“The first time I ever took you out we went for Chinese in that little hole in the wall place just down from USF. But I don’t think we had a _first date_.” Bones cringes at the use of the word _date_ and then Jim looks mildly offended.

“Yes we did.” Jim counters.

“No, Jim, we did not. That time you took me to that god-awful strip club in the Castro does _not_ count.” Bones huffs and then looks straight into the camera, mildly embarrassed.

“It  does  _so_  count.” Jim mutters. “It was the first outing that led to making out. I think that makes it a date. _Anyway_.” He says before Bones can argue. “Question five, what eye colour would you change mine to if you could?”

“That’s a ridiculous question. Have you _seen_ your eyes?” Bones questions.

“Oh Bonesy, you make me all warm inside.” Jim offers a chuffed shrug to the camera and continues. “Favourite TV show?”

“Teen wolf.” Bones smirks at Jim’s indignant squawk.

“That’s a secret.” Jim hisses.

“Don’t be such an infant. If you’re happy to force me to watch it then you can be happy for the rest of the world to hear me complain.” Bones huffs.

“Okay Mr _I love Hugh Dancy and oh look at all the puppies_.” Jim counters and Bones just huffs.

“Hannibal is a very intellectually stimulating TV show.” Bones states. 

"Like Breaking Bad and House, I suppose?" Jim questions. 

"Exactly like." Bones nods. 

"And Grey's Anatomy." Jim mutters. 

"I'm a med student, what do you expect? We can't all get off on Big Bang Theory." 

"Astrophysics major." Jim raises his hand with a sardonic smile and the sighs. “One food product I can’t stand?” Jim asks instead of starting an argument about the merits of certain TV shows. 

“Banana.” Bones says.

“Evil fruit.” Jim gives a fake shiver of disgust. “Okay, let’s make this interesting, name five of my allergies.” Jim orders, setting his iPhone down on his knee.

“ _Five_? Kid, I could probably name fifty. But let’s go with the most problematic. Eggs, strawberries, coconut, Brazil nuts, shellfish, and apples, mildly, even though you insist on eating them anyway and whatever shit's in coke that makes you die a little bit inside each time.” Bones says irritably. “Apples get me the most though.”

“But apples are _so_ good.” Jim whines. “Question nine, what drink would I order when we’re out?”

“Coors Light if you’re drinking beer, Tequila if you’re being an asshole-”

“Hey!” Jim exclaims. “I’m never an asshole.”

“Question 10?” Bones wonders.

“Do I collect anything?” Jim asks, and actually sounds quiet intrigued to here Bones’ answer.

“You have all those little replica space ships.” And then Bones pauses to consider. “You ah, tried to start that shell collection last summer when we were in Santa Monica.”

“Let’s move on shall we?” Jim says. “What would you put in the perfect sandwich?”

“Salt beef on rye.” Bones makes a little contented face.

“For _me_.” Jim clarifies.

“Grilled chicken, cheese, tomato, red onion on white, toasted.” Bones makes a disgusted face. “Even though the amount of butter you put on your sandwiches makes me feel physically sick.”

“That sounds good. You should make one of those later.” Jim suggests. “My favourite cereal?”

“Lucky Charms because you’re still an infant.” Bones replies.

“Do we have a song?” Jim asks, ignoring the _infant_ comment.

“Of course we do not have a _song_.” Bones huffs.

“Yes we do.”

“No, Jim, we do not.”

“Come on, Bonesy.” Jim nudges him. “If you don’t claim our song I’ll be super upset.”

“You sound so genuine my heart hurts for you.” Bones states. “When You Were Young.” He grits out begrudgingly after a moment of attempting to wait Jim out but failing. “By The Killers.”

“Wasn’t that hard to admit that we’re a little bit romantic, now, was it?” Jim jibes.

“Is that question fourteen?” Bones grouches.

“No, it’s, my natural hair colour is….” And Jim raises his eyebrows at Bones.

“The same colour that is currently taking over your head.” Bones replies.

“You can’t buy this shade of awesome in a bottle.” Jim nods. “Who is my BFF?”

“The human-robot known to the masses as Spock.” Bones asks. “Not that I have a clue why.”

“You can’t insult Spock, Bones. He has a following among my subscribers. We did the best friend tag like two months ago.” Jim reminds. “Question sixteen, what traits of mine do you love?”

Bones stays silent for a moment before glancing at Jim. “You’re loyal and brave, and smart as a whip. You make me laugh and even though you’re a pain in the ass you’re honest and caring. I like a lot of things about you Jim.” Bones admits with a small shrug.

“Oh, Leo.” Jim says gently, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. “You already answered the next one, which was, when was our first kiss, so question eighteen is, who said _I love you_ first?”

“You did.” Bones admits, sounding regretful, but not elaborating.

“ _Do_ you love me?” Jim asks.

“Of course I do!” Bones exclaims. “What kind of fool ass question is that?”

“It’s question nineteen.” Jim smirks gently.

“Oh.” Bones says, clamping his mouth shut.

“Question twenty, who wears the trousers in the relationship?” Jim asks. “I’d like to pitch in here and say it’s of my most humble opinion that the relationship is at its best when no one is wearing any trousers… but.” And he shrugs, looking to Bones.

“I pretend I do.” Bones says. “But really you walk all over me.”

“But it’s okay.” Jim says, looking at Bones and not the camera. “Because you totally let me.”

"I do." Bones nods with a smile and then turns to the camera. “So there you have it folks.” 

“If you liked the video and want more from Bonesy then give us a thumbs up because I would totally love to do the _I do my boyfriend’s makeup_ tag and I know you’d love it to but Bones takes a bit of convincing.” Jim grins and Bones just looks at Jim with total dismay. “Thank you all so much for sticking with me and I’ll see you all for more awesomeness next Thursday.” Jim adds, turning off the camera. 

"You're not ever touching my face with make-up." Bones states immediately. 

"We'll see." Jim says. "For now though can I just touch your face with my face?" 

"That is much more acceptable." 


End file.
